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Love Languages

One of life's fundamental needs is to be loved, to experience nurturing, acceptance, and connection with others. Within all of us is an 'emotional love tank' that yearns to be full. In order to grow and develop in a healthy way we need to feel genuinely loved by significant people in our lives. For children it is particularly important to have their love tank filled by their parents/caregivers so that they can form attachments and feel secure enabling them to grow up emotionally healthy and able to function well as adults; without a sense of being loved, children can experience insecurity and not develop healthy trust and communication skills.
The value and influence of parents/caregivers is so important. To be the most effective in enabling your children to experience your love it is really important to understand what their primary love language is, this means how they best experience your love. There are five love languages, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service; each child receives the message of love through one of these five love languages; all five play a part in helping your child to understand and know that they are loved, however there will be one primary love language that best tells your child that you love them. An example, if your child's language was 'Quality Time', then they receive your love best by having your undivided attention, 10 -15 minutes a day where they can choose an activity that they can share with you; this might be just talking together, taking a walk, or looking at something they have been working on, whatever it is, making that time a priority for them will add to their love tank! The rewards of learning to speak your child's primary love language will benefit your relationship, when you communicate your love to them in their language; for parents who have more than one child, you may be surprised to learn that they have different primary love languages.
A child's love tank needs constant refuelling, an indicator that it is refuelling time, might be noticing misbehaviours; the fuller the love tank, the more secure and connected they are likely feeling and the more settled their behaviour, as they hear and feel your love. I would like to encourage parents to either read 'The 5 Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, which includes the Love Languages Mystery Game for Children; your child can fill this in to find their primary love language, also available to download from the website. Children are our most precious gift; therefore communicating your 'love' in their language will ensure they feel precious.
http://focusministriesinc.com/images/CHILDREN_Survey.pdf